BUILD YOUR BOUNCE
The word resilience gets bandied around like the fix for every problem and the cause of most of them. “Peter would be awesome if only he had more resilience”. We’ve all heard that one, right? It probably has some truth in it. But it likely makes Peter want to smack someone in the face. “Resilience that, Boomer.”
So what is resilience? What is it not? And how can someone like Peter, build more of it?
Resilience isn’t battery. It’s bounce.
Resilience isn’t about grinding forward to push Sisyphus’ rock up a hill. That doesn’t achieve much. And according to the story, it’s a clear form of hell. Bad idea.
Resilience is more about bounce. It’s our ability to adapt and recover and try again. The pick-yourself-up, dust-yourself-off, harness-your-growth-mindset stuff.
Hundreds of psychologists have tips to help build it. But our favourites come from Suzanne Kobasa – because she sums up the good bits in just three Cs. These are places you should focus if you want to build a bit more bounce.
COMMITMENT
Throwing yourself into stuff gives you more ability to bounce over road bumps. Resilient people feel a sense of purpose and drive into projects boots and all. They’re curious about the why of different things and people so they’re better at solving the small stuff on the way.
Build your bounce:
Understand the why of what you’re doing. Be curious and commit.
CONTROL
Believing in your ability to influence events is a big part of making things happen. Resilient people know what they own and get a buzz from nailing it. But they also know the difference between stuff they can change and stuff they can’t. There’s no point chasing unicorns down the subway.
Build your bounce:
Believe in you and take control. But know how to pick your battles.
CHALLENGE
The only constant in life is change. Resilient people get that. They embrace the challenge of being adaptable and see change as opportunity. Every new challenge is a new chance to learn and grow. But challenges aren’t problems or threats to worry about. They’re puzzles you can noodle out and solve.
Build your bounce:
See change as opportunity and problems as puzzles.
Get your Superhero Mindset here
It’s frustratingly new-age and unhelpful to say that resilience is all in your head. But it’s also true. None of us are ten-foot tall and bullet proof. And stuff happens. But our ability to bounce back is determined by our mindset. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right.
IMPORTANT
Mental Health is complicated and super important. It’s okay to not feel okay. So if you’re struggling, talk to someone. A friend, family member or your doctor. Or reach out to one of these awesome organisations.