LET THE BIG STUFF BE
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
That’s the Serenity Prayer. It’s 25 words of common sense, the picking-your-battles prayer. And it’s obvious, right? Sometimes we can fix stuff. Other times we’re nailing jelly to the wall. The secret is knowing which is which.
A guy called Stephen Covey told the same story with The Circles of Influence – a simple tool to help you focus on what you can actually do.
It looks a bit like this:
SORTING THE CIRCLES
Covey reminds us that, even in a world of crazy, there is stuff we can control. This gives us an anchor – a sense of achievement and purpose. It’s the good bit. Enjoy it.
Next up is the Circle of Influence. This is stuff we can help with, but don’t control. In a working context you could see this as opportunity. Things we jump into to get noticed or help others, but not stuff we actively own.
The big circle is the bad circle. These are things over which we have no influence or control. It’s the stuff that happens to us that we can’t do much about. Many of us spend time and stress worrying about the stuff in this circle. But all that worry comes to nothing because we can’t control it. That’s why we call it “Your funeral”.
SURFING YOUR CIRCLES
Just like the Serenity Prayer, the secret of these circles is knowing which is which. If something is in your control, own it and act on it. If there’s opportunity within your influence, step up and have a go.
But if there’s big picture stuff that you can’t control or influence, the best thing you can do is be okay with it. Make like Elsa and Let it go.
And that’s the Circles of Influence. The courage to change the stuff we know we can change, the serenity to accept the things we can’t – and the wisdom to know the difference… the hardest bit is the wisdom.
IMPORTANT
Mental Health is complicated and super important. It’s okay to not feel okay. So if you’re struggling, talk to someone. A friend, family member or your doctor. Or reach out to one of these awesome organisations.