WHY RIGHT IS WRONG
Let's work hard to get it right. That’s what we hear from the moment we’re born.
Is she feeding the right way? Is she walking in the right way? Is she wearing the right school uniform and hanging with the right people? Our formative years are packed with ‘get it right’ moments that point to our potential to ‘get it right’ in life.
And we stay on the ‘right’ train, right through life. And it’s holding us back.
GETTING IT RIGHT MEANS NOT GETTING IT WRONG
This is where the chaos starts. As animals evolved from slugs, the parts of our brains that protect us are far more evolved and effective than the bits we use on the daily to do our jobs. We’re hard-wired into negative thoughts to keep us safe from extinction.
So whenever someone talks of “getting it right” our lizard brains will spin it around and scream about the risks of “getting it wrong”. It’s phenomenally unhelpful.
AIMING BACKWARDS DOESN’T TAKE US FORWARD
This is obvious. But we all do it. Every day. When our instincts scream that the best way to get it right is to not get it wrong, we dodge uncertainty, shut down opportunity and desperately seek rules to follow and safety nets to rest in.
And it’s totally normal. Nine out of ten of us have an autonomic fear response to uncertainty. That means we feel it, physically. Those knots in the stomach, the elevated heart rate, that’s lizard brain doing its job to keep us safe from harm.
But nine out of ten of us also regret our missed opportunities. Those moments of ‘dammit’. Dammit, I thought of that. Dammit, I could have done that. Dammit, I should have gone on that date or off to that party or into that uncertain situation.
Our lizard brains are cutting our lunch. And we don’t like it. So how can we change it?
DON’T AIM FOR “RIGHT”
AIM FOR “GOOD”
Right is an absolute. It is, or it isn’t. And the opposite of right is wrong. But the world doesn’t work like that. It’s organic, not binary. There aren’t any absolute right answers… so we can’t actually get stuff wrong. It’s just the power of our own cerebral chemistry building walls around risk.
Good, on the other hand, is relative. Things can be better (or worse) – but we don’t get confused by the risk of wrong. And that makes it easier to make stuff happen.
It’s hard to feel good when you’re aiming for “right” and your lizard brain is screaming in your gut. So reset the goal posts and silence the reptile.
Don’t aim for “right” aim for “awesome”. And chances are you’ll land up somewhere “pretty bloody good”.