SASS FROM THE STARS - OCTOBER 2021
Looks like we’ll be trick or treating around the house this Halloween. So the stars have the perfect DIY costume ideas to make it a scream. Grab your sheet and scissors. It’s time to get crafty.
LIBRA
In all the birthday chaos, you forgot to sort your get-up. Luckily, the Libran queen has just the Met Gala chic inspo you need. Drape yourself in a simple black blanket from head to toe… then stuff your pants with pillows to achieve that signature Kim K derriére.
SCORPIO
Few things in this world are scarier than a Scorpio. So the stars really needed to think on a costume that would outdo your own persona. Slick your hair back. Throw on a black suit and then channel your inner demon. Brian Tamaki does not come to play.
SAGITTARIUS
You know what the stars love about a Sagittarius? Your experimental side. Tomato sauce is obviously perfect for fake blood. But what can other condiments bring to the table? Empty those jars at the back of the fridge and let your imagination run wild.
CAPRICORN
Not everyone has a full two-tone tracksuit laying around. But this is your moment, Cap. Squid Game made blood splattered tracksuits hot, just in time for Halloween. How did you get blood all over that jacket by the way? The stars will never tell.
AQUARIUS
Who even are you now, Aquarius? Temper tantrums on the daily. Always something in your mouth that shouldn’t be. Soiling yourself on purpose – what a big baby. Grab a bib and a bonnet, then put yourself in a corner *Jeremy*. Costume sorted.
PISCES
Fun fact: Pisces are the most likely to be a serial killer of all the zodiacs. It’s true, look it up. But the stars say you don’t have to succumb to the statistics this Halloween. Carry a box of Cheerios and a butcher’s knife for a wholesome ‘cereal killer’ spin.
ARIES
Last time the stars checked, you were going slightly mad, Aries. Constantly fidgeting, pacing – mind racing. The twitchiness has to stop. The stars say put your excess energy to good use and run into a wall as hard as you can. Ouch. Costume: tick.
Taurus
The amount of time you spend on social media is alarming, Taurus. Yes, the stars are concerned, but they still want to help. So, put a pot plant on your head, wrap yourself in toilet paper and relaaax. If anyone asks, say you’re Machine Gun Kelly.
GEMINI
It’s no secret, Geminis are frightful creatures. But the stars say it’s time to embrace your split personalities and channel your inner Cruella! Dip half your head in flour, slap on some red lippy and deal with that noisy pooch next door. Fabulous, darling.
CANCER
Crafting is your thing, Cancer, you always aim to WOW. And the stars have the perfect project – an Octopus. To create eight tentacles, just stuff four pairs of pantyhose. Ask your husband if he has any spare. The stars say he definitely does.
LEO
Every fabulous Leo loves trash TV. So this year, the stars suggest channelling your inner Erika Jayne. You may not have $40,000 to spend on glam. But neither does she. Blow out that luscious mane, throw on some pink and grit those teeth – OR WHAT?!
VIRGO
The stars see how stressed you’ve been, Virgo. It’s written all over your face. Alright, you get a pass this year. Just throw a sheet over your head, don’t even bother cutting holes in it. Let out all those groans and moans you’ve been holding in.
Everyone in your bubble is probably losing it anyway. So why not embrace the spooky spirit and wear a bunch of crap from around your house? It may not feel like the most festive Halloween, but the stars can’t wait to see what you come up with.
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