DANCING ROUND IN CIRCLES
Another year, another circle round the sun. That’s what they say, anyway. It’s a claim backed by science (Copernicus, I think). And one of a few that most people don’t seem to argue with.
The earth goes round the sun, the moon goes round the earth and the planet spins around itself in daily circles. This gives us calendars to pack full of meetings so we can talk about important stuff.
Stuff like the political loop the loop in New Zealand that’s spun from the chaos and confusion of trying to be everything for everyone to the chaos and confusion of trying to pretend we’re all the same. It’ll spin back.
And at least it’s less intense than the political circle in the States. That one spins on the axis of ‘freedom’. From the ‘freedom’ of lots of rules that let you do you, if you follow those rules. To the ‘freedom’ of ‘draining the swamp’ so anyone can do anything - just as long as you have plenty of cash. Everyone has ‘freedom’ on one side of the circle.
That’s what makes circles, circles. And they’re everywhere. Social circles, vicious circles - circles of trust and circles of violence. One day we go round in circles, the next, we circle back. Until everything goes full circle and we start it over again.
Yes, life is like dancing on a record. If you’re nudged out to the edge it’s a bloody long way ‘round the loop. But if you hug onto the middle then nothing much happens. Either way, the music only plays when the record goes round.
And don’t get me started on the internet. Designed in the spirit of openness and connectivity, it’s spun into a centrifuge of echo chambers for dodgy ideas. But once that circle is spinning, it’s super hard to hop off. Sprinkle in some robots who fake authenticity through smart statistics and the centrifuge spins faster than ever.
It’s big stuff - and it feels like a lot. But, honestly, we can’t do much about it. That’s why my favourite circles are the Circles of Influence. They’re three concentric circles imagined by a guy called Stephen Covey. They remind us where we sit in life – and where to aim our worries.
The smallest is the circle of control, that’s stuff that’s on us. It’s things we can (and should) do something about. The second is the circle of influence, that’s also stuff we can nudge, like sharing stories to help a friend or standing up for things we believe in.
But the outside circle is the most important: no influence, no control. That’s the stuff that gives us sleepless nights, like ‘what happens if Trump wins?’. Or ‘what if my boss says…’ or ‘will the big rains come back’. They all feel like things we should worry about – but we can’t do a damn thing to change them.
That’s what makes those circles useful. Stuff I look after, stuff I can help with and stuff I can’t control. Three circles to sort the fix it from the fuck it. And dancing those circles with meaning is the best way to make your circles fun.
There’s a tight summary of the same idea in the Prayer of Serenity. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Wisdom is the hard bit. But the more times we circle the sun, the better we get at that.
So my big thing for 2025 is care more and care less. Care more about the stuff that matters most – in the places I know I can make a difference. And care less about the stuff I can’t control. It’s awfully fun to bleat about it over beers or on the internet. But then make like Elsa and let it go.
Yes… focus on the stuff at hand, forget about the rest. And dance atop the record in a way that makes the music better. Because the one thing we know for sure next year is that the earth will circle the sun. We can’t change the way it spins, but we can choose how we want to dance on it – and who we want to go dancing with.